The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXVI

Mogey and Smush were hippity hopping on the trampoline one afternoon when Mogey spoke up.

"How luscious," he said, "does a plum pudding sound right now?"

Smush glared at him in mid-hop with narrowed eyes.

"Get away from me, Mogey," he retorted. "And stay off this trampoline til you've decided to talk about a real man's dessert."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXV

One sunny summer day Mogey and Smush were out riding a bicycle built for two. Actually it was a bicycle built for one, and a much skinnier one than either Mogey or Smush at that. So Mogey was pedalling while Smush sat on the handlebars when they encountered the Elephant Man of New Guinea blocking their way.

Now they happened to be on a slender forest path and so their only two options were to turn back the way they had come or to confront the Elephant Man of New Guinea. Smush, ever the brazen one, chose the latter.

"Elephant Man of New Guinea!" he cried. "Yield to Mogey and Smush! We are no longer afraid of you!"

The Elephant Man of New Guinea turned slowly, a scowl etching his New Guinean face. "Well good," he said. "I hate it when people are afraid of me. And you can call me Aloisius if you want."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXIV

"Hey Smush?" Mogey said of a morning as the two of them were hoeing the turnip patch. "Why don't we have a dog?"

"You mean a pet dog?" Smush asked, eyebrows raised in surprise.

"That's right, a pet dog," Mogey replied. "I feel like we're the type of folk who'd have one of those."

"Well," Smush said, "we could get a dog, only none of our pets ever lasts very long because you always get hungry and eat them."

"I do not!" Mogey retorted angrily, a comically large tear welling up in his eye.

"Yes, you sure do," Smush said. "In fact you just ate our rabbit and two of our goldfish yesterday afternoon. Are you sure you aren't just curious about what the dog would taste like?"

With that Mogey began to sob and flung his head upon Smush's shoulder. "I can't help it!" he sniffled. "I read somewhere that they tasted like coffee cake."

Smush stroked his friend's head tenderly. "No you didn't, you bizarre individual," he said.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXIII

"You know what I've been really interested in lately?" Mogey asked Smush late one night as they sat on the porch watching midges cruise into the bug zapper.

"What's that, Mogey?" Smush replied.

"Butterbeans," Mogey said. "Do they really have butter in them? Or what? What about butternuts? Or butter squash?"

Smush snatched a half eaten stick of butter out of Mogey's hand and shook his head. "These midnight trips to Farmer Sturgeon's dairy barn have got to stop," he said.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXII

Mogey and Smush were taking a break from painting the outhouse one hot summer day and they decided to go for a bit of a walkabout. They each grabbed a deuce of Nutrigrain bars and headed for the forest.

The path they chose led them through a darker, spookier part of the forest, where giant muskrats roamed freely and extremely short men glided about the shadows armed with bully clubs.

They happened to pass by a granite cliff, and set in the wall of this cliff was deep and ancient cave. Mogey, of course, headed up to investigate.

"Easy Mogey," said Smush, putting a hand on his friends shoulder. "Inside that cave lives the oldest and most cantankerous creature in this entire forest."

"What is it?" Mogey asked solemnly.

"His name is Herman," Smush replied. "Herman, Lord of the Mule-Men."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXXI

One blustery autumn day Mogey and Smush were upon the Plains of Panalope flying a kite. The wind cut like a curmedgeony dwarf with pail full of sunfish and their homemade kite seemed ready to burst its tether at any moment.

With no warning a man came running toward them across the grass. Mogey and Smush froze with curiosity, for the man was a curious fellow wearing a safari hat, a monocle, and a pair of ladies' trowsers.

With one loud impassioned scream the strange man pulled out his musket and fired a ball up toward the kite. His aim was true and the fragile aircraft disintegrated on impact.

"Yes!" the man cried, leaping to his feet. "I've finally done it!"

"Done what?" Mogey asked angrily, for they'd spent almost forty minutes of perfectly good naptime making the kite.

"I've hit one! I've finally hit the rare long-tailed diamond hawk!" the man yelled, jumping up and down in jubilation.

"That's it," Smush said. "You hold him down, Mogey. I'll go get the tire iron."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXX

Mogey and Smush were jaunting about atop the cliffs of Duneskaar when they spotted the most fearsome sight in all the animal kingdom: a bright red ship bearing the figurehead of a horned maiden. Smush's breath caught in his throat; Mogey just started throwing up all over the cliffs of Duneskaar.

"My God..." Smush said. "Mogey, do you know what today is?"

"Tuesday?" Mogey asked, wiping his mouth.

"Aye," said Smush. "Tis Tuesday...the Tuesday that Viking John, Prince of Vikings, begins his invasion of all the world."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXIX

Mogey and Smush were just sitting down to a steaming plate of stargazy pie at the public house down the way when the cook burst out of the kitchen with the power of a water buffalo in mating season. A water buffalo who had been in the hospital with avian flu the last 4 mating seasons in a row.

The cook began running about the pub overturning tables and throwing women and geezers aside in his desperation as he searched for something.

"Where is it?" he cried in terror. "Where is me granpapa's famous recipe?"

Just then Smush noticed a tattered corner of paper poking out from beneath their plate of stargazy pie. He pulled it out.

"5 medium sardines...2 cups flour...1 cod filet..." he read.

"What is it?" Mogey whispered.

"It's a recipe," Smush said. "For stargazy pie." Grabbing the ancient scroll he leapt to his feet and pulled Mogey up by his collar. "You'll never take us alive!" he yelled at the cook. And Mogey and Smush ran for the hills, convinced they were soon to be the wealthiest pie barons in all the land.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXVIII

The hemlocks swayed with a quiet ferocity, shading the two hunters. Mogey and Smush were hunting the most elusive and delicious of all game: The Canadian Fanged Turkey.

"Shh," whispered Smush, ever so quietly. "I've got one in my sights."

Mogey stopped in his tracks and followed the direction of the shaft of Smush's arrow up into a mighty sasparilla plant, where their plump quarry was perched majestically. Smush let the arrow fly, a perfect shot aimed for the heart of the fantastic beast.

Just when it seemed the destruction of the C.F.T. was imminent, the great bird snatched the arrow from the air with its mighty beak and snapped it like the legs of yearling sheep. The Canadian Fanged Turkey gave them one long disdainful look before flapping awkwardly off into the sunset.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXVII

One damp spring afternoon Mogey and Smush were luncheoning on tinned tomatoes and cold beef tongue when Mogey spoke up.

"Smush," he said, "if someone wrote a book about our lives what do you think it would be called?"

"I'm not sure," Smush said, thoughtfully chewing a particularly dimpled piece of tongue. "How about Mogey & Smush: Wired for Destruction!"

"No," said Mogey, "it would be called Miracle at Barnaby Manor."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXVI

"Let me paint a little picture for you," Mogey said to Smush one brilliantly sunny day in round about the Winter Solstice. "Let's say you were taking a nap on the beach when a deadly Jamaican Viper--the deadliest of all snakes mind you--came slithering out of the water and looked at you like you were a bologna and cheese sammich. What would you do?"

"That's an easy one," Smush replied, chuckling at the absurdity of the question. "I'd take out my sawed-off and blow the little fella's head to kingdom come."

"What if you didn't have your sawed-off with you at the time?" Mogey queried.

"At the beach?" Smush said. "That's a little unrealistic. I always bring my sawed-off to the beach, just in case that sea monster who stole your shorts shows up again."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXV

"You know what's sad?" Mogey said of an evening while he and Smush were repairing the grandfather clock. "I bet I could fall off a donkey tomorrow and split my head open and no one would even notice!"

And Mogey began to wail like a newborn babe.

"Come here, Mogey," Smush said, holding up a damp paper towel. "You've got a bit of angel's food cake on your face."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXIV

Mogey and Smush were meandering along when they happened to pass by Old Man Blabastereaux's run down old shack. Now Old Man Blabastereaux had the meanest pet in all the world. It was a Doga Constrictor: half dog, half boa constrictor. A Doga Constrictor named Lyle.

And lordy was Lyle ornery. Even other Doga Constrictors were put off by him, and ALL Doga Constrictors are ornery.

Well Mogey and Smush knew all this but as they walked by on this particular day, Smush happened to notice that Lyle had a shiny new chain to restrain him from biting the ears off neighborhood children. Smush took one look at that chain and knew what he had to do.

"Follow me, Mogey," he whispered, hopping Old Man Blabastereaux's fence and pulling out his axe. In less than 15 seconds Lyle was galloping full speed toward Mama Bacon's Nursery School and Smush had the shiny new length of chain in his hands.

"What'd you do that for, Smush?" Mogey asked. "Lyle's going to eat at least 8 of those kids."

"True," said Smush, "but this new belt is gonna look suh-weeeeet!"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXIII

Mogey and Smush were walking in the park one day, though it was nowhere near the merry merry month of May. It was in fact the merry merry month of February. Anyhow, they encountered a sign posted on the lamp post.

ROCKET BUILDING CONTEST, the sign said, FIRST TO THE MOON WINS $1,000. $2000 Entry Fee.

"I'm in!" Smush said. "Let's build us a rocket!"

"But that doesn't sound like a very good deal," Mogey said. "Even if you win you lose money. Not to mention that we know nothing about building rockets. Plus, where are you going to get $2000 from?"

"The cogs are turning, Mogey," Smush said, patting him on the back and pulling out his crowbar as they passed the local piggy bank repository. "Don't you worry, the cogs are turning."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXII

"Come on, buddy! You can make it!" Mogey yelled at the top of his lungs. "Stay with me!"

He was running as fast as he could through the forest, carrying Smush on his shoulders. Mogey risked another glance at his friend's face, but it was still blue.

Mogey didn't slow until he reached his destination: a thatch-roofed hut with a sign on the door reading "Dr. Edmond W. Wrinkleface M.D."

Mogey beat upon the door until a crotchety old man in a night cap opened it up.

"Oh thank goodness, Dr. Wrinkleface, it happened again!" Mogey screamed, dumping Smush on the stoop. Dr. Wrinkleface sighed and dropped what is known in the medical profession as "the flying elbow" onto Smush's stomach. There was a whoosh of air and a piece of franks'n'beans shot out of Smush's mouth and stuck to the gutter above the doorway.

Dr. Wrinkleface slammed the door and returned to bed as Smush tried to catch his breath and Mogey hugged him muttering "never again...never again".

When Smush regained his strength they returned home and shared a big bowl of franks'n'beans to celebrate.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XXI

"This shall be one of the greatest days in the history of Mogey and Smush," Mogey said proudly.

"This shall be a day that the historians will remember us by; a day that, far into the future, when horses have tusks and ground squirrels are capable of litigation, people will look back and say 'Wow, that day was pretty awesome.' This is the day Mogey and Smush take flight!"

"Well, fire her up," Smush said, pointing to the hot air balloon fireblaster Mogey had erected at the top of the gnoll.

Mogey excitedly reached down and flipped the switch, but alas, forgot stand behind the fireblaster. A column of flame shot out, setting Mogey's beloved hair alight. Mogey ran around like a chicken with his head on fire for several moments before tripping and rolling down the hill.

Smush sighed and went inside to get some frozen french fries. Frozen french fries are the best thing to put on burns. Plus, they're delicious to eat afterwards.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XX

Mogey and Smush were both huge fans of salt pork, but it wasn't always that way. One day Smush came home all afluster.

"Mogey, I've discovered the most amazing thing," he cried. "What are your two favorite foods in the entire world?"

"Salt and pork I guess," said Mogey.

"Exactly, me too!" Smush exclaimed. "Well apparently there's a food out there that combines these two delicious ingredients! It's called SALT PORK!"

"My god..." said Mogey as a tear of happiness welled up in his eye and a drool drop of hunger dribbled from his lower lip. "We must try it! Grab the salt shaker and meet me in the pigsty!"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XIX

Mogey and Smush were dining one evening in the parlor when a heated argument sprang up.

"I can't believe you, you rogue! You, you, you rapscallion!" Mogey said, lifting a bowl of food high over his head and smashing it down onto the hearth.

"What's the matter, Mogey?" Smush asked.

"You know very well what's the matter! How dare you call me a stringy bean!" Mogey yelled.

"I didn't call you a stringy bean," Smush said calmly. "I asked you to pass the bowl of stringy beans."

"Oh," Mogey said. "Sorry, they're all over the hearth now."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XVIII

Mogey and Smush were at the corner pub one night having a pint or two when they encountered Benny the Pirate, a most mean and vile-tempered young man. Benny stood audaciously before the two friends and the pub grew deathly silent. Wordlessly Benny the Pirate broke into a tap dance of epic proportions, finishing it off with the "Demon's Flourish", the largest affront one tap dancer can make to another.

The crowd gasped and Mogey lunged forward to throttle B the P but Smush held him back.

"Easy, Mogey," Smush said. "Let us settle this the old fashioned way." Mogey nodded and they both pulled out their clickers and began screwing them into their shoes.

When they were ready the two friends stood before Benny the Pirate, who tried to look brave, even as he dribbled grog out of the side of his mouth in fear.

"Welcome," Smush said, "to the Mogey and Smush show."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XVI

Smush was outside peddling his tricycle about midmorning while Mogey watched from the atop a dense rhododendron bush and threw the snowball shaped flowers at his friend. After a while Smush stopped peddling and grew serious.

"Mogey?" he said. "I think I might be getting a little old for a trike. Mightn't it be time to get a two wheeler?"

"By golly I think you're right," said Mogey. And he hopped down from the bush and took out his hacksaw. Mogey almost always carried a hacksaw with him. He turned the tricycle on its side and proceeded to saw off one of the back legs. "There you are," he said when he was done.

The bike-formerly-trike never rode the same again, but you couldn't tell Smush that. He loved it like a mama cockatoo loves her first born son.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XVII

The syrup man was in town. He had every syrup a boy could dream of, from maple to raspberry to cough. Once a year he would come through, peddling his wares, and everyone loved him. Everyone, that is, except for Mogey.

This was a tough time of year for Mogey, and so Smush tried to keep him away from the syrup man as much as possible. But the town was small, and run-ins were inevitable.

And so it came to pass that Mogey and Smush were walking along and they passed the jolly, moustached syrup man trundling his syrup cart. Smush knew there was nothing he could do now.

"Hey, syrup man!" Mogey shouted angrily. The syrup man looked steadily back.

"Hello, Mogey, you look well," was all he said. Mogey snatched the nearest bottle of syrup from the cart: a large jug of molasses.

"My father was a sugar farmer, you scoundrel!" Mogey yelled and he smashed the jug on the ground and stormed off. The syrup man watched sadly as his syrup soaked into the dust like the blood of a dozen eagles.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XV

"Have you noticed that the cellar snargleblat is getting a little creaky?" Mogey asked Smush one sunny afternoon.

"The, the what?" Smush asked.

"The snargleblat, down cellar," Mogey said. "It's getting a little creaky, I think we need to put some WD-40 on it."

"What on earth is a snargleblat?" Smush asked with furrowed brow.

"What do you mean what is a snargleblat?" Mogey asked with his typical incredulity. "A snargleblat is a snargleblat is a snargleblat, there's just no other word for it. This is stuff you learn in nursery school."

Smush was about to inform Mogey that he had never been to nursery school but instead had gone on a vision quest at the ripe age of 3, but he was interupted by the dramatic entrance of an amorous woodland possum, who locked onto Mogey's face and proceeded to attempt to tongue kiss him.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XIV

Mogey and Smush were relaxing on the widow's walk around twilight, as they were wont to do after they finished a large meal of game hen stuffed with blackroot, which they just had. As they were lounging on their musty old beanbag chairs, the sound of singing drifted up from below.

Oh I steal from the goose and I give to the gander

My mother's name is alexander

Mogey and Smuch looked down to see a young minstrel strolling through the forest.

Lay my hands on whatever I see

Unless that object ends in "V"

"Hey!" Smush yelled down to the minstrel. "Quiet, you! Our pet piglet is trying to sleep."

"Oh!" cried the young minstrel earnestly. "I am so sorry!" And he ran off into the wood.

Mogey and Smush had actually eaten their pet piglet, Minnie, over a week earlier, but they couldn't stand the sound of young minstrels while they were digesting game hen stuffed with blackroot.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XIII

One evening round about twilight, Mogey and Smush were traveling along when they came upon the most ogredly ogre that ever has been or ever will be. So ogredly was this ogre that his name was Ogre. Ogre P. Willingham.

"Give me yer gold, ye scallywags!" Ogre P. Willingham demanded.

"Have you got any gold, Mogey?" Smush asked. Mogey shook his head.

"All I've got is this Susan B Anthony twenty cent piece," he said.

"Sorry," Smush told the Ogre. "We're fresh out of gold."

"You blackhearted scoundrels," Ogre P. Willingham said. "How will I ever get enough for a Cheesy Gordita Crunch if all anyone has are Susan B Anthony twenty cent pieces?"

And Ogre P. Willingham ran off into the undergrowth with his tail between his legs and no one ever heard from him again.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XII

"Hey Mogey?" Smush asked as he flipped a punkin seed into his mouth. "Do you think a beef chariot is actually a chariot made of beef, or just a chariot used to carry beef?"

"What?" Mogey asked.

"A beef chariot," Smush replied. "It just carries the beef, right?"

"What in the heck is a 'beef chariot'?" Mogey said, a befuddled look upon his countenance.

"You know," Smush said, "like in that song. Swang lowwwwwwwwwwwww beef chariot, comin for to carry beef hoooooooooome."

Mogey looked at Smush with narrowed eyes for less than one quarter second before dumping the entire pail of punkin seeds in his lap and walking off muttering about sweaty hogs.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume XI

It was a searing hot afternoon, the likes of which blisters the scapula muscles just to think about. Mogey and Smush were bored and lazy with the heat, so they were lying in the shade: Smush in a hammock, and Mogey on a bed of those stones that cows keep in their stomachs. No one knew where Mogey had gotten them, but they stayed cold almost all the time.

"You want to go armadillo bowling?" Mogey asked.

"Armadillo bowling?" Smush replied. "What's that?"

"Well it's sort of like regular bowling, except that instead of a ball you get an armadillo to curl into a ball and then you roll him down the sidewalk," Mogey said. "Then, when he's exactly 4 feet away, you take out your 12-gauge and just go hog wild."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume X

One day Mogey and Smush were out for their morning stroll. They took a stroll every morning to ease the gastronomic pains they experienced as a result of eating so much pork. As they walked they came across an exceedingly large and hairy man running a carnival game along the country road. The game went like this: a contestant would try to use to raise a small metal ringer up to a bell at the top of a tower by hitting a lever with a novelty sized hammer.

It was rather a nice stand, only it was out on a country road so the carnival man hadn't gotten much business.

"Why do you keep your stand all the way out here instead of in the village?" Smush asked the man.

"Me stand don't like it in the village," the large man said, a tear springing unexpectedly to his eye. "Me stand 'ates the village. You know, people think this job is all about being a big tough chap, but you've also got to show your stand a little bit of tenderness..."

With that the man broke down crying. He hugged his hammer tighter and tighter and then began to lick the handle enthusiastically. Mogey and Smush backed away with extreme care.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume IX

Mogey and Smush were shining the doorknobs in the downstairs larder but they just couldn't seem to get them shiny enough.

"Put some more elbow grease into it!" Mogey told Smush, so Smush wiped his greasy elbow onto the brass (he'd just eaten an especially oily batch of hush puppies). The two friends began buffing the newly greased doorknob and when they were finished it shone with the magnificent sheen of a bald man's head under a harvest moon.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume VIII

On a damp and windy evening Mogey and Smush were seated around the fondue pot, enjoying a tasty Extra Sharp Cheddar. There was silence for a while, except for the sound of cheesy morsel munching.

"You know when someone has a baby," Mogey said, "and the Doctor says 'Congratulations, it's a bouncing baby boy.'?"

"Sure," said Smush, "I've seen it a thousand times."

"Do they only say that if the babe will actually bounce?" Mogey asked. "Or what?"

Smush was just about to make a comment regarding Mogey's clearly subpar intellect when a large cheese bubble popped and showered both of them with molten curds.

Mogey and Smush ran at full speed to the nearest pond, clawing the burning cheese out of their eyes and noses, screaming bloody murder, and pulverizing every small to medium sized shrub that got in their way.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume VII

Mogey and Smush were walking along one delightful afternoon when they came upon a wise old owl sitting on the low-hanging branch of a hemlock tree. Always prepared for any situation, Mogey removed a tootsie pop from his breast pocket and offered it to the ancient avian creature.

The wise old owl snatched the lolly from Mogey's hand and stuffed it hurriedly into his beak. Mogey and Smush stood there awhile, admiring the majestic creature enjoying his candy, before Mogey took a running start and punched the owl square in the face.

A wrestling match ensued: feathers and hair were ripped out at the roots and flesh was pecked and scratched raw, but Mogey emerged victorious, holding his tootsie pop aloft in jubilation.

"What was that about?" Smush asked, as Mogey popped the prize into his mouth.

"Well I really don't like lollipops," Mogey replied, "but there is nothing better than a fresh batch of wise old owl spit."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume VI

One day Smush showed up to the cricket pitch with a brand new gadget.

"What is that thing?" Mogey asked, for he was a curious rapscallion.

"This," Smush announced, "is my new sausage catapault." And he pulled a lever to launch a rather large liverwurst high into the air.

"Oh," said Mogey. "Well what's the point of that?"

Smush merely sighed, gave his friend and exasperated look, and began loading a particularly heavy loaf of bologna into the firing chamber.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume V

"I've seen the great wall of China and the den of the most vile quadruple-hydra that ever walked the Earth," Mogey said. "I've seen the North Pole and the South Pole, and even the East and West Poles. I've seen a grizzly bear cry and a cuttlefish sneeze. But the only thing I've ever really wanted to see was an Indian rain stick full of jelly beans."

"Happy Birthday, Mogey," said Smush, unable to contain an extra-wide grin as he handed his friend a tall skinny package that made a noise like a jelly bean rainstorm.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume IV

As Mogey and Smush worked together over a hot forge one foggy morning Smush asked suddenly "Mogey, have you ever seen a duck explode?"

Mogey thought for a moment and decided that he had not. "No," he replied, "I can't say that I have."

"Well check this out," Smush said as he he took a running start and aimed one heck of a strong kick at the small white duck that had wandered into the smithery.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume III

One afternoon Mogey and Smush were walking along at about quarter to four, or maybe it was quarter past three, when they spotted a humpback whale lying beside the road.

Mogey and Smush just kept on going, being sure not to make eye contact with the leviathan, because humpback whales are known to get very cranky when they're out of the water.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume II

One day Mogey and Smush were sitting on a pair of stumps, practicing the macarena when Mogey spoke up.

"You know what I could really go for right now?" he asked.

"What's that?" said Smush.

"A carvel ice cream cake," Mogey replied. "Maybe even a fudgy the whale."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume I

One day Mogey and Smush were walking down a grassy path near Tir Asleen when they encountered a pony.

"How many ponies," asked Mogey, "do you suppose it takes to carry a nelwin?"

"That's simple," Smush replied. "Even an exceptionally small pony can easily carry the weight of a Nelwin. The real question is how many nelwins it takes to carry a pony."

"I haven't the slightest idea," said Mogey.

Smush looked upon his friend wisely. "Why, it takes 3 of course. 3 nelwins to carry a pony. No matter what."