Friday, September 5, 2014

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume 643

After Mogey and Smush saved the life of Earl Earlington, Earl of Earlham, Lord Earlington insisted that the two pals spend a holiday in his Earldom. Mogey and Smush were hesitant, in the first place because they were worried about the midnight snacking policy in a place as proper as Earlham Castle, and in the second place because the only reason Lord Earlington had needed saving was that they had summoned the evil spirit Choo Choo Magoo in an attempt to win a dance-off. Choo Choo was malicious, but he was also one heck of a dancer, and Mogey and Smush were desperate. When the dance-off ended with Mogey, Smush and Choo Choo victorious, the ghoul then attempted to devour the judges (of whom Lord Earlington was one) whole, and was only stopped when Mogey and Smush used a serviceable imitation of his arch nemesis, Enormobrawn Ironpants, to distract him.

Anyhow, the lure of whole roast beasts of many species overcame Mogey and Smush's guilt, and they took Lord Earlington up on his offer. Sure enough, they learned that midnight snacking was discouraged at Earlham, which was how Mogey and Smush found themselves creeping through the darkened castle in search of the kitchens.

Multiple minutes into their search, as the rumblies in their respective tumblies reached a deafening level, Mogey and Smush came upon a balcony that looked out into the Great Hall. They could see the entrance to the kitchens, but the floor lay 50 feet below, with no easy way down.

"I know," Mogey whispered. "We'll slide down the tapestry like the secret agents do! I've seen it a hundred times."

"You mean this priceless tapestry that Lord Earlington said has been in his family for several hundred generations?" Smush asked. Mogey nodded. Both of their tumblies rumblied audibly. "What choice do we have?"

Each pal grabbed one side of the immense tapestry that hung below their balcony, swung their legs over the railing, and began to shimmy down hand over hand. Almost immediately, the fabric began to rip apart, and with a wrenching sound, the whole tapestry tore in half, sending Mogey and Smush tumbling to the floor. Smush groaned and propped himself up on one elbow, gazing up at the 50-foot-long tear.

"Let's get to the kitchens, grab some dunkaroos and a staple gun, and get to work, Mogey," he said. "It's going to be a long night."