The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 20

 As Mogey and Smush crested the snowy summit, their legs shaking, their breath billowing, their pockets crinkling with caramel cream wrappers, they came upon a crevasse that could not have been more perfect for producing an echo.

"Hello!" Mogey shouted.

"Hello!" his echo replied.

"Wow!" said Mogey. 

"Wow!"

"Black bean burger!"

"Black bean burger!"

This went on for at least twenty minutes by Smush's reckoning. He reckoned in Fruit-By-The-Foot, so seven feet of fruit had been consumed. Finally, after Mogey yelled "black bean burger" for the third time, the echo simply quit.

"Will you cut it out already and let me get some sleep?" the echo cried, in perfect imitation of Mogey, though Mogey had said nothing of the sort. "For by the epaulets on Cap'n Crunch's blue coat, I swear I will grind this mountain into dust before I say 'black bean burger' again!"

Legends say that the witch who had doomed Fernando the echo ghost to a millennium of repeating hikers' yells added a hundred years to his punishment for each word he improperly echoed, so this outburst cost him dearly indeed. But legends also say that on that night, Fernando the echo ghost went to bed with a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye, for he had proven that no man could make him say 'black bean burger' thrice, no matter how many caramel creams he'd consumed.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 19

The Yuletide season was one of Mogey and Smush’s favorite times of year. This was mostly because every occasion to make merry seemed to revolve around food. When it wasn’t Beef Wellington it was fire-roasted chestnuts. When it wasn’t sugar plums it was nog of egg. And when it wasn’t pumpkin pie… well, it was always pumpkin pie with Mogey and Smush around.

Gift giving, on the other hand, was not typically Mogey’s or Smush’s forte. The pals were too focused on delicious victuals, and frankly, too rotund, during the festive season to think of much else. 

“It’s not all it’s cracked up to be, is it, that figgy pudding?” said Mogey from the sofa. He’d already unbuckled his belt and leaned back in his chair. Now he had no choice but to shift to a full recline.

“Quite the statement from a gentleman who just put away three helpings of it,” Smush replied from the chaise lounge-style patio chair he’d dragged in from the deck. “You thought it would be chocolate pudding with figs in it, didn’t you?”

“Butterscotch pudding, actually,” Mogey said. “And Fig Newtons, not simple figs. Fruit on Christmas? Ick! But doesn’t that sound better?”

“As a matter of fact it does,” Smush answered. “So here’s your present!”

He sounded an air horn, and in hopped Miss Elle Toad, the wassailing frog of Bon Bon Pond. In her warty arms she held a mighty glass bowl, filled to the brim with butterscotch pudding. Atop the pudding stood a perfect reconstruction of the famous battle between Snow Miser and Heat Miser, made entirely from Fig Newtons.

Mogey was still too full to sit up, but a single tear rolled down his cheek as he brandished his spoon once more.

“Merry Christmas, Smush. It’s perfect.”

“Merry Christmas, Mogey,” his pal replied.

 

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 18

 It was customary, in those days, to let out a hearty belch after a good meal. Many hosts would've been wholly offended by a burp-less guest, and Mogey and Smush made great efforts not to give offense. Even when it was only the two of them, they made sure to let a few tonsil-ripplers go during the dessert course.

"Hold on a moment, Smush," Mogey said one evening as his pal rose for a fifth pudding pop, "I'm about to be so darn polite that it's going to blow your mind."

Smush sat, and Mogey opened his mouth wider than an opera singer receiving a monkey bite from a bully he thought was his best friend. Instead of a mere belch, however, an enormous bubble began to emerge from Mogey's mouth. Larger and larger it grew - much to Mogey's consternation - until it was bigger around than Smush's belly, or an "el grande" size beach ball. 

"I keep telling you, Mogey," said Smush, "you've got to spit out your Juicy Fruit after you chew it, not swallow the stuff."

"Chew it?" Mogey exclaimed as the bubble finally broke off and drifted toward the ceiling. "I've just been swallowing the sticks whole. You get the same great taste, but it's far less filling that way."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 17

 "You know what this party needs?" Mogey asked as their guests yawned through the fourth playing of The Monster Mash that hour. Their Master of Ceremonies, a serpent and Harry Potter-tribute DJ named Sal "The Czar" Slitherin', continued to spin the ones and twos, oblivious to the boredom of the crowd as his tail swayed in time to the beat.

"Oh please no," Smush replied, pinching the top of his nose. "Not the Under--"

"The UnderWOO!" Mogey exclaimed. With a small squeal of delight, he unveiled his prized antique typewriter.

"I keep telling you, Mogey, it's an Underwood, the d just wore off."

"Ah, but that's where you're wrong, Smush! Only an UnderWOO could set the party off like this!"

With that, Mogey began to mash at the keys, making the typewriter into a percussion instrument as loud as it was disorderly.

"For pete's sakes, Mogey," Smush said. "At least find out what you're typing!" Smush slid a page into the typewriter mid-song, and as Mogey continued to punch the keys, letters began to blossom across the paper. 

Mogey finally realized what was happening and yanked the page free of the carriage. For a moment he was silent as he surveyed the paper covered in letters. 

"This is cursed magic indeed!" Mogey shouted.

"But Mogey, I just--"

"Begone, you! Keep your dastardly witchcraft away. This is no house of devilry!" said Mogey as he backed away slowly, crossing his forefingers in an X in front of his face. 

Across the room, "I was working in the lab late one night..." echoed ominously from the speakers for the fifth time as Sal "The Czar" Slitherin' hissed with delight.

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 16

Hand over hand, foot over foot, Mogey and Smush made their way slowly up the village church's steeple. Twice, loose shingles threatened to send them plummeting to their doom. Another time, Smush's hand accidentally got caught in Mogey's back fat, and it took half an hour and a goodly portion of Smush's emergency stick of butter to remove it.

"Don't worry, Smush," said Mogey as his pal's hand came free with an enormous SBLOOP! "It'll all be worth it in the end."

At last they made it into the bell tower. Before them hung the ancient bronze bell cast by Emmit Village, the founder and namesake of their little hamlet. The great instrument filled the pals with pride and a hunger for beefy seven-layer burritos. Smush glanced at the sun and held Mogey back with an arm.

"Wait a moment," Smush said. "It's too risky."

"I don't care!" Mogey exclaimed, pushing past Smush's arm as though it was the turnstile at the final concert of rap rock legends Mild Fever. "I've had enough of those mosquitos, I tell you. I must have bat allies and I must have them now!"

Mogey crouched beneath the massive bell and looked up, just as the clock struck noon. Twelve epic peals rang out. Unable to escape, Mogey received the full blast of each knell from inside the bronze dome. 

When at last the twelfth note had been struck, Mogey stumbled out, his head still vibrating noticeably.

"Well?" asked Smush.

"There were no bats," Mogey replied. "But by golly what a ride! Only 59 minutes until it comes round again!"