One day Mogey and Smush were ambling down the carriage track through town when the loveliest woman they'd ever laid eyes on emerged from Gelbo McIntyre's silk shop. She must have weighed eighteen stone and was wearing a red checkered dress that still bore streaks of barbecue sauce from the afternoon meal. As Mogey and Smush watched, the lovely creature paused, put a hand to her mouth, and emitted a sneeze so dainty that the pigeons in the village bell tower erupted into the air with fright.
"Please, miss, take my handkerchief!" Smush said, rushing to the enchantress's side.
"No, m'lady, take mine," Mogey yelled, leaping in front of Smush and knocking his hand away. "His handkerchief is naught but a patch torn from his pants!" The woman looked at the tear in Smush's pants knee and saw that this was so.
"That may be," the noble lady replied. "But what is your handkerchief if not a cheeseburger wrapper still containing unfinished food?"
"There's still a bite left?" Mogey demanded, leaping forward and snatching the corner of cheeseburger from the wrapper. "Don't worry, madame, I'll take care of that for you!" He crammed the burger into his mouth and let the sounds of his chomping wash over the woman of his dreams.
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