Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume CCCXII

One clear winter's day when the sunlight glinted off the snow like candlelight off a freshly-licked butter knife, Mogey and Smush were strolling through town. As they passed a dark and mysterious alleyway, a voice beckoned them from the shadows.

"Von't you help me, good sirs?" the voice said in a thick Transylvanian accent. Mogey and Smush looked at each other, shrugged, and veered into the alleyway.

The voice's owner, it turned out, was an extraordinarily pale man wearing an old fashioned suit and a deep purple cape.

"I vant to eat!" the pale man exclaimed, gesturing strangely with his cape. "If I do not eat I vill die."

"Seems accurate," Mogey said.

"We're with you so far..." Smush added.

"But zee only thing I can eat - or more truthfully, drink - vell...it is forbidden!" the pale man said, guiltily looking away.

"What is it?" Mogey asked curiously. "What's the only thing you can drink?"

"Zee most taboo liquid to drink in all zee vorld. Zee most sinful of all beverages!" the pale man said. "By now I am sure you have realized vhat I speak of: Havaiian punch!"

"Hawaiian punch?" Smush demanded. "Why don't you just go get it yourself?"

"Look at my skin!" the man cried. "I vould burn like a crispy pork snack! Zee sun is glinting like candlelight off a freshly licked butter knife!"

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