Tuesday, May 12, 2009

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume CVI

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if you have a weak stomach this demonstration is not for you!" Mogey shouted to an audience of almost three who had assembled at the Public House to watch a magic act that was known for miles around for its unequalled okey dokeyness. "And now, without further ado, I give you...Smush the Superb!"

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen," Smush the Superb said, acknowledging a smattering of applause as he marched out on the stage in his top hat and parachute pants. "For my first trick, I'll need a volunteer from the audience. How about you, sir?"

Smush the Superb pulled onto the stage a man whose beard was as grey as it was long (and it was almost three and a half inches long).

"Let's all have a hand for our brave volunteer," Smush the Superb said. "Now just slap your hands down on this table if you would." As the man placed his palms on the table Smush carefully balanced a glass of stout on the back of each of the man's hands.

"You seem like the sort of person who might carry quite a few hard candies with him at all times," Smush said. "Am I right?" The bearded man nodded. "Excellent," Smush said, and he began to root through the man's jacket pockets. The man, whose hands were effectively pinned to the table unless he wanted to spill a full glass of stout, could do nothing.

"Well, you folks have been great!" Smush the Superb said when he'd found every last piece of candy. He and Mogey may have been rookie candy con artists, but they knew when to leave, and they headed out of the Public House at a speedy clip.

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