Thursday, May 6, 2010

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume CCCXXXVI

One afternoon Mogey and Smush were hanging around the village butcher shop, flirting with the young ladies of the community. The butcher's was their favorite place to meet girls because, as everyone knows, nothing puts romance in the air like meat cleavers and a well-cut porterhouse.

"How about that one?" Mogey whispered to Smush, nodding his head towards the beauty in the yellow dress who was ordering up a several racks of baby back ribs.

"That's Matilda Blonken!" Smush said in hushed tones. "She's way out of your league."

But Mogey's skills with the ladies were smoother than Babyface McNamera's cheek after shaving with a Schick Quattro Titanium, and he brazenly approached Matilda Blonken.

"Say," Mogey grunted in his most manly voice, "I think those ribs came from a pig I knew well. Can I make a recommendation?" he asked, looking Matilda straight in the eye. "Try to grab that second rib from top. Ol' Stanley loved to be tickled right there, so I'd bet anything that it'll be tender as all get-out."

"Hmph!" was Matilda Blonken's reply as she hefted one rack of ribs and smacked Mogey across the face with them. Mogey looked at Smush in dismay as she stormed out of the butcher shop.

"So close," Smush said with a shrug.

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