In the center of Parsonsville there stood a monument to the town's primary industry: pacifier manufacturing. The monument consisted of an enormous brass sculpture of a baby pacifier, and among townspeople it was known as "The Brassifier."
"One of these days, Mogey," Smush muttered as they walked past The Brassifier one wintry evening. "One of these days I'm going to steal that grand sculpture and put it on my mantle."
"Why not tonight?" Mogey replied. "Constable Clonker's wife cooked liver'n'sauerkraut for dinner, so you know he won't be leaving the table anytime soon."
"You're completely right!" Smush replied. "Tonight that great brass binkie can be ours at last!"
Mogey and Smush quickly liberated The Brassifier from its normal perch, and finding it stupendously heavy, were forced to drag it all the way home. The sculpture had only been in their possession a few hours when Mogey and Smush heard a loud knock at the door.
"Give back The Brassifier!" was Constable Clonker's sauerkraut-scented howl when Smush opened the door. "Who do you two knuckleheads think you are?"
"Have mercy!" Smush pleaded, falling to his knees. "How did you know it was us?"
"Well for one, you're the only troublemakers in town who would try something like this," Constable Clonker replied, peering over Smush's shoulder at The Brassifier, which lay beneath the remains of their collapsed mantle. "But there's also a three-inch deep groove in the dirt road leading from town square all the way to your front door."
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