The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume CC

Episode One
One partly cloudy summer day Mogey and Smush were oiling their cannon. A cannon must be kept well-oiled or it will rust, and a rusty cannon sometimes launches cannonballs on a substandard trajectory.

"Smush," Mogey said, "I've been wondering something for quite a while now. Why do we have this cannon in our front garden?"

"Why I can't believe you would even ask such a dunderhead question," Smush replied. "The reasoning behind the cannon is twofold. Fold One: home defense. Remember the time that traveling salesman rode his donkey cart up the path there? Well what if instead of a salesman it had been a pirate? And what if instead of a donkey cart it had been a fully-rigged Spanish Galleon? You wouldn't be wondering about our cannon then."

"Mmm," Mogey answered, "quite."

"And there's still another fold to go," Smush went on. "Fold Two: doesn't it look nice sitting here besides my posies?"


Episode Two
The penalty for stealing a chicken in Dundeendoubleborough County was six hours in the stocks, so as you might imagine, Mogey and Smush spent a great many days in front of city hall with their hands locked into the county's most heavy-duty pillory. One such day was a gloomy, dim one in late fall.

"Why do we always seem to end up here on Tuesdays?" Smush asked as a small child hurled spoiled cabbage at his head.

"I know the very reason," Mogey replied, as an overripe tomato sailed toward him. "It's because Farmer Lumphilden feeds his hens double on Sunday nights."

"Ahh, of course" Smush said, grimacing as Sister Laurel-Ann, the village nun, gave him a fearsome noogie. "So they look particularly fat and scrumptious Monday afternoon, which is when we get caught."

"Heavens no," Mogey answered while a surly dwarf tugged on his eyebrows. "I think it's because we're so envious of the chickens' extra dinner that we want to take them down a peg or two. And everyone knows eating a chicken is the only way to teach it a lesson."