Thursday, May 29, 2025

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2025 Edition - Episode 21

"Servants!" cried Emperor Mogey. "I feel excessively warm. Mildly 'uncomfy' if I may speak in such crude terms. I require a breeze!"

Immediately a crowd of attendants scrambled to fan the emperor, but something caught his lordly eye.

"You there!'

"Me, sir?" said Servant Smush nervously.

"Yes, you," Mogey confirmed. "Why are you doing that with your hands?" 

"Well, erm, you see, sir--" 

"You may call me Il Grande Ragazzo if it makes you feel more comfortable." 

"Oh, sure. Well you see, Il Grande Ragazzo, it's my first day here as a member of the fanners and lemonade fetchers. And my boss, he told me that if you requested a breeze, I should wave my palms at you."

"Uh huh," said Emperor Mogey, "and you thought he meant the palms of your hands, did you?"

"I did have a backup option in case I misunderstood?" suggested Servant Smush.

"That sounds like a good idea."

Smush scurried off and returned with what appeared - to Mogey's eyes - to be about 150 sheets of tattered parchment, which he then began to wave all around in the emperor's personal space.

"What are you doing now?" Mogey demanded.

"Fanning you with psalms!" said Smush with enthusiasm.

"Have those even been written yet?"

"The timeline is unclear, sir," Smush acknowledged.

"Well, in any case I'm quite certain that psalms are not an approved fanning implement for the king of kings!" Mogey exclaimed. "I hope you have a second backup option?"

"I certainly do, sir!"

"One moment," Mogey said, catching Smush's arm before he could run off again. "Let's get one thing clear. If you return to this dais with a set of pom-poms, your first day on the job will be your last... not just as a fanner, but as a lemonade fetcher as well." 

The entire court gasped. 

"No problem, Il Grande Ragazzo," said Smush, awkwardly nudging a cheerleading uniform back under the table with his toe. 

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