"Good morrow, Mogey," Smush stated when his pal welcomed him into the parlor one fine morning. "How does your cousin fare? I recall you mentioning he was your houseguest this fortnight."
"Cousin Bogey?" Mogey said. "He's exhausted, to be honest. He was up all night talking to Ralph on the big white phone, if you catch my drift."
"I believe I do," Smush replied.
"He was praying to the porcelain god - know what I mean?"
"Say no more," Smush confirmed.
Just then the door bell rang. Mogey and Smush answered it together, finding a little man in a white tuxedo standing on the front stoop in the blinding sunshine. His moustache was curled so high that it touched the brim of his white top hat, and he kept both thumbs tucked into his suspenders.
"Are you..." Mogey mumbled.
"... Ralph Flushing, the toilet king of the west?" he and Smush continued together.
"Yes sirs, I am," Ralph Flushing confirmed, "though I must say I'm quite partial to the nickname Lord Rumbly gave me when I plumbed his entire country house in less than 24 hours."
"'The Porcelain God," Mogey and Smush intoned. Ralph Flushing nodded.
"I believe that caller is for me," hollered a voice from up the stairs. This utterance was followed immediately by the descent of Mogey's cousin Bogey, taking the steps three-at-a-time.
The family resemblance was tenuous at best. Bogey stood at least twice Mogey's height and perhaps one third of his width, and yet on that morning he wore a pair of pajamas borrowed from his cousin. A long stalk of wheat hung from Bogey's mouth, though his garments could not have looked less cowboy-like.
"Ah, the very young man I'm here to see," Ralph Flushing gushed. Turning to Mogey, he continued, "your cousin is quite impressive! We talked for hours over the telephone last evening, and the praise he heaped upon me and my operation was most flattering. He even stopped by my estate in the wee hours and tossed cookies through several of my open windows. Yes, Bogey, I'm here to offer you a job at my company, and I hope you'll consider it."
And that is the story of how Bogey became the Chief Marketing Officer at Flushing Toilets, the position in which he would come to entirely reshape the public discourse on the commode.
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