"Again, I feel I should mention that a joint consultation is most unusual," the guidance counselor said, peering over his spectacles at Mogey and Smush.
"We're ok with unusual," Smush replied, hoisting a 24-ounce can of sparkling pickle juice. "Right, Moge-man?"
"Yep," said Mogey, cheersing Smush's Dilly Fizz with a Mango Xtremo Gatorade. "Unusual and full of electrolytes."
"Alright then," the guidance counselor rejoined. He observed Mogey and Smush like a talented dog groomer might stare at two rastafarian pups named Peanut and Scallywag who keep ignoring his advice that full-body dreadlocks and digging for clams do not mix. "Have either of you given any thought to your future careers?"
"That all depends," Mogey answered. "Does making sure to drink lots of electrolytes prepare you for any careers?"
"What do you like to do? What are you good at?" The guidance counselor held up a hand to stop Mogey from interrupting. "BESIDES consuming electrolytes," he added.
"We're pretty good judges of character," said Smush.
"Perhaps police detectives, then? Or negotiators?"
"Ooh!" Smush responded, sucking his teeth. "I meant we're good at judging the character of foodstuffs, not people. You know, what goes with what, what's spoiled and what's fresh, that sort of thing."
"What about becoming chefs? That's a popular career path these days."
"Ooh!" Smush repeated, sucking his teeth once more. "We're not so much about cooking the food. What've you got that involves eating food?"
"And don't forget about the electrolytes!" Mogey chimed in.
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