The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2023 Edition - Episode 22

 "Sandwiches up!" Smush said, swerving out of the kitchen with two towering dagwoods. 

Mogey sat at the barrel that he, Smush, and their four other roommates used as a table, slavering like a wolf whose grandma just made her famous triple cheeseburger linguini. 

"Hear, hear!" Mogey commended his pal. "A prodigious effort!"

Mogey was (shockingly) correct: the sandwich Smush had delivered stood at least a foot high, and contained four different meats, two varietals of fried potato, six sauces, and zero fresh vegetables. 

Each pal hefted his respective tall stack, opened his maw, and gobbled a bite.

"PTOOIE!" Mogey spluttered, spraying half-chewed dagwood onto the wall. "What is that foul, sour flavor?"

"You mean mustard?" Smush demanded. "You asked for mustard!"

"That's not mustard. Lovely, cold, sweet, eggy mustard would never taste of vinegar and rot!"

"Are you sure you're not thinking of custard?" 

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhh," said Mogey, snapping his finger regretfully. "Custard!"

"On a sandwich?" Smush exclaimed.

"Better make it two scoops," Mogey muttered, seizing his plate and heading for the ice chest. "That ought to be enough to cover up the nasty mustard taste."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2023 Edition - Episode 21

 BONGGGGGGGG!

Mogey and Smush both clapped their hands to their ears as the massive bell rang out just above their heads. 

"Great good ghosties!" Smush exclaimed. "I had no idea it would be so loud. I think one of my fillings vibrated right out of my teeth! Let's press on," he added, pointing up the stairs.

The pals mounted the wooden steps, which brought them directly behind the face of Goliath's Pocketwatch, the clock tower that loomed above the city. 

"Alright, Moge-man," Smush intoned, "this is the most critical part of our plan, so let's not rush anything. I've got some complex geometry to think through, and we've only got one shot at this."

Smush got to one knee and began to scratch figures into the dusty wood with a charcoal stick. Upon hearing a loud clanking noise, he glanced up to see Mogey hauling away on a windlass.

"NO!" Smush shrieked. "Do you realize what you've done? You turned the clock hands the wrong way! Instead of serving breakfast an hour later in the day, Clucks Deluxe Chicken & Ducks is going to STOP serving it an hour early. Months of planning, foiled!"

Despite this tirade, Mogey continued to crank the windlass, so Smush finally dashed the metal grip out of his pal's hand. 

"Huh?" Mogey jabbered. "What'd you do that for?"

"Haven't you heard a word I've said?" Smush demanded.

"Sorry, Smushster," Mogey said. "I can't hear you. I haven't heard a thing since that confounded bell went off. Say!" he went on, pointing to a miniscule white object on the clock tower floor. "Is that one of your dental fillings?"

Still oblivious to his friend's dismay, Mogey strode over to the item in question, picked it up, and then shook his head. "Never mind," he concluded. "False alarm. It's just a tic tac."

"Gimme that!" Smush cried. "Tic tacs are what my dentist uses for fillings. Haven't you ever wondered why I'm constantly at his office? And why my breath is so relentlessly fresh?"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2023 Edition - Episode 20

 The harvest was rich that year, so Mogey and Smush spent much of the early autumn in the vegetable garden, collecting nature's bounty. On a cloudy day they set out to gather the carrots, whose bushy green tops were reminiscent of Smush's Grandpa Duckbutz's ear hairs (only greener). 

Mogey selected one row, Smush stood astride another, and the pals began to pull and pull. As they worked, Smush noticed a glint of something metallic in one of Mogey's handfuls.

"What's all this?" Smush asked, coming nearer to inspect. He discovered that every carrot in Mogey's bunch appeared to be wrapped in orange foil. "Did you... did you bury a bunch of chocolate carrots this spring instead of planting seeds?"

"Of course," Mogey scoffed. "What did you plant? Those nasty crunchy things?"

"Those nasty crunchy things are actual carrots," Smush replied. "If they're just chocolate carrots, why'd you bury them to begin with?"

"A few months underground gives them a lovely earthy flavor," Mogey answered, ripping the foil from one chocolate and biting into it with a satisfied sigh. "Isn't Mother Nature amazing?"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2023 Edition - Episode 19

 As soon as the door swung open, Mogey and Smush joyfully launched into their business slogan:

"Mogey and Smush's Babysitting Service, at your babysitting service," Smush announced.

"We sit on your baby!" Mogey exclaimed.

"So you don't have to!" Smush chimed in.

The slightly bewildered young couple in the doorway stared for a moment before welcoming the pals into their home.

"Let's introduce you to Alan," the mother said, leading Mogey toward a playpen in the drawing room.

The father plucked at Smush's sleeve and spoke to him in a quiet voice. "You fellows are experienced, aren't you?"

"Oh yes," Smush assured him, "we've been caring for infants nigh on a decade. You needn't worry about a thing: Your child is in very safe hands."

A bloodcurdling shriek summoned them into the drawing room. There they found Mogey fully inside the playpen, being eyed skeptically by an extremely fat baby while the mother desperately pulled on his jacket in an attempt to haul him out. 

"He keeps trying to SIT on Alan!" she cried.

"Of course," Smush noted, "I should mention that all of our previous clients have been geese."