Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume CLXXIII

One autumn afternoon Mogey and Smush were at lumberjack class when their teacher, Jacques Fromage, began to explain the importance of tightly coiled rope.

"You want to coil it nice and neat, see?" Jacques said. "This way your toes won't escape...Mogey! Smush! Have you been paying attention?"

"Yes sir, Mr. Fromage," Mogey and Smush chorused as they snapped away from an intense game of handslaps.

"Mmmoh really?" Jacques replied. "Well then why don't you come up here and show me how to coil a double goosenecked safety line for an oak strut buttress?"

Mogey and Smush walked to the front of the class and began heaping ropes into a pile and knotting them at random as Jacques shook his head disappointedly. Their failure culminated in Mogey dangling upside down with his ankle caught in a hanging rope while Smush unsheathed his machete and chopped the rope to pieces.

"Let me tell you a little secret about the lumberjack game," Jacques said, leaning in close to Mogey and Smush. "If you want to get anyplace you gotta be smart, you gotta be strong, and you gotta be goodlookin'. I'll be honest, I'm not so sure it's the proper profession for you fellahs."

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