The final day of the Mr. Big-and-Tall Weemsburgh pageant had arrived, and Smush was a heavy (pun very much intended and in fact required by law) favorite.
"All you've got to do is crush the interview segment and you're home free!" Mogey exclaimed, rubbing his pal's shoulders like a boxing coach as they strode toward the stage.
"What if they ask me a question I know nothing about?" Smush asked nervously.
"Just say 'bacon.'"
"Bacon?"
"Bacon," Mogey confirmed. "Bacon is the answer to everything in Mr. Big-and-Tall Weemsburgh interviews."
Smush took a deep breath and walked out into the bright lights and rarefied air of the Mr. Big-and-Tall Weemsburgh stage with the confidence of a hen who just laid a triple-yolker.
"Mr. Smush," said the head judge, ponderously, "if you could dine with one previous winner of this illustrious competition, across any era, who would it be?"
Smush hesitated, but then his eyes met with Mogey's out in the crowd.
"Bacon," Smush answered.
The judges conferred for a moment before the head judge followed up. "An intriguing answer," he said. "Do you mean Bacon Rutherford, the '47 champion, or Billy 'Bacon' Bowkon who won in '63?"
"Bacon," Smush repeated.
"Ah!" the judges gasped. Once again, the head judge spoke for them all. "Bacon Bacon, the enigmatic bipedal pig who left his farmyard life behind for a chance at Mr. Big-and-Tall glory, and became the competition's only swine champion in the process. What an answer!"
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