The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 32

As Mogey and Smush entered the local honky-tonk (which was called The Donkey Honk), they immediately noticed a new band was playing on the sawdust-strewn stage. 

"Where's Bleak Pete?" Mogey demanded of the barkeep.

"And where's his Sadly-Go-Glumly Band?" Smush added.

"Disneyland," said the bartender. "The whole gang of 'em go every year. Supposedly they just ride It's a Small World over and over. But The Baked Beanz are good. You should check 'em out!"

Check 'em out, the pals did, and they quickly realized the barman was correct. With vocals nearly as smooth as Willie Nelson and a laid-back attitude similar to Willie Nelson, plus the melodic musings of Willie Nelson, they reminded Mogey of a country music superstar of yesteryear, though he couldn't put his finger on which one. 

"You guys sound great," he said, approaching the stage after The Baked Beanz concluded a set.

"Do you play?" asked the lead singer, Nillie Welson. 

"Of... of course," Mogey replied. 

"Come join us for a song!" offered the lead guitarist, Nell's son, Willie. "Want to take over the six string?"

"I couldn't possibly," Mogey demurred. "I've no idea how you put that wonderful twang into your strumming."

"Banjo then?" suggested Sonnell E. Will, the banjoist.

"The centerpiece of twang in every one of your songs? That's too much pressure!"

"How about the drums?" asked Nellie Willson, drummer extraordinaire. 

"You know what I loved - and could never duplicate - about your drumming?" Mogey said. "The twang."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 31

Mogey and Smush sat at the breakfast table one morning, their minds on their bowls, when the floor beneath them began to tremble. 

"What was that?" Smush yelped. 

"Don't tell me you're becoming one of those 'quakers?'" Mogey replied.

"Is that some sort of derogatory term for people who imagine they're feeling earthquakes?"

"No, ye goose! Everyone knows those are called 'tremor-chondriacs.'"

"Then are you suggesting I've changed religions?" Smush asked.

"I am not," said Mogey. He glanced meaningfully at Smush's bowl.

"Don't tell me..." Smush declared. "Oatmeal?? You dare ask if I'm supping on oatmeal this morn? How can you even suggest such a thing? You know very well my ancestors were displaced by oat barons!"

"I just thought..."

"Next time your thoughts drift to me consuming the foodstuffs of that white-haired, scarf-wearing villain, you keep them to yourself! Or mark my words, there will be fisticuffs! In this household, it's cream of wheat or nothing."

"Alright!" said Mogey. "Sheesh."

"Thanks for taking accountability," Smush said, visibly cheering. "Say, what was it that shook the floor just now, anyway? Was it a real earthquake?"

"Naw," Mogey answered. "That'll be Jombous Todd. He said he might need to use a bit of dynamite to break loose a stubborn boulder." 

"A 'bit' of dynamite?"

"His words, not mine. Sure will be nice, though, when he finishes that tunnel and our cellar has a weatherproof connection to the pastramerie."

Just then, the cellar door creaked open, revealing a dust-caked moleman who peered down his spectacles at the pals.  

"Sorry 'bout the noise, lads," Jombous Todd announced. "Hope I di'int wake youse. Turned out I actually needed three bits o' dynamite."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 30

Mogey and Smush descended the grand staircase at Casino Vulgaire, dressed to the nines (as in the #9 cheeseburger combo meal) and looking like snacks (as in a king size bag of nacho cheesier doritos).

"What's your game this evening?" Smush inquired, his manner as sophisticated as a cartoon owl.

"Funny you should ask," Mogey replied. "I've been crunching the numbers, and I believe there's one table at Casino Vulgaire where the odds are not in the house's favor."

"How delightfully economic," said Smush. "Is it blackjack? Craps? Roulette?"

"Guess again, Smushy." 

"Don't tell me..."

"That's right," Mogey proclaimed, "once again it's Go Fish where we'll take this gambling den for all it's worth." 

"I keep telling you that they don't play for money at the Go Fish table," Smush grumbled. "It's just there to keep kids occupied!"

"And THAT," Mogey stated, "is why they'll never see us coming."