The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 36

Mogey and Smush sat around the campfire with their pals Gurns Macleod and Skunkins Brent. Gurns and Skunkins were excellent camping buddies, because they each had their own set of unique skills. Gurns was a talented tent putter-upper, fire kindler, and ghost story teller. Skunkins kept all the undesirable wildlife at bay with his repulsive stench. 

"Anyone got a knife handy?" Smush inquired.

Mogey and Gurns immediately proffered blades: Mogey, an 8-inch cleaver; Gurns, a fillet knife he'd brought along to clean tomorrow's catch of rainbow trout.

"I'm looking to butter my s'more," Smush expanded. "Do you have anything a little more..."

"This should do the trick," Skunkins replied, pulling a hawkbill machete from his belt. 

"Fanks," Smush replied, holding his nose as he accepted Skunkins' enormous knife. He waved it about a bit to air it out, then dipped it into their brick of butter and gave his s'more a liberal slather. "Perfect," Smush declared as he took a satisfied bite. 

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 35

Mogey and Smush were striding down the dusty track outside of town when an elevator car made of pure fire emerged from the ground itself. 

"What kind of shenanigans are these now?" Mogey said, rolling his eyes.

"If it's not one thing, it's another," Smush commiserated.

The elevator's doors slid open, revealing a tall, slender man wearing a black cloak and a billy goat-style beard.

"I am The Pyromancer," he announced. "Lord of the burn." 

"Uh huh," Mogey answered, picking a bit of floating ash off of his ham sangwich. "And what's your name?"

"Some call me El Diablo de Fuego," The Pyromancer replied.

"But what does your mother call you?" Smush asked. 

"Usually she just calls me her 'wittle chubbins.' But occasionally she uses my given name."

"Which is?" Mogey prodded.

"Ryan," said the Pyromancer. 

"Well, Ryan," Smush said, "we really must be going. So you may as well get on with whatever burning you need to do."

"Really?" said Ryan, enthusiastically. "I mean--yes! No one passes The Pyromancer without receiving a serious burn!" 

He approached the pals majestically, drawing his hand into the depths of his cloak. But just as he reached them, he stopped short.

"Wait a moment," he said to Mogey. "It seems you've got a little something on your tunic." 

He pointed helpfully, and when Mogey looked down, Ryan The Pyromancer booped his nose.  

"BURN!" Ryan exclaimed, cackling. He jogged around the pals several times, jigging in a manner that belied his elegant cloak, but was frankly quite in line with his billy goat beard. "You just got burned! Another classic red hot burn from The Pyromancer!"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 34

Mogey and Smush's breakfast table was bedecked with such a bounty of sausages, bacons, cakes (pan and otherwise), and melon slices, that no one person could reach all the deliciousness from his seat. 

"Mogey?" Smush said around a mouthful of raisin bun. "Could you pass the waffles?"

"Belgian or German?" Mogey inquired. 

"Chocolate chip," Smush replied. "They're behind the ebelskivers. You might have to lunge for 'em." 

Mogey reached under the table and pulled out a Toiletmaster 3000, which he suctioned to the side of the waffle platter and dragged in front of his friend. 

"There you are," Mogey said.

"What in the world are you doing?" Smush demanded, staring at the plunger in his pal's hand.

"Didn't you say I might need to plunge for 'em?"

"I said lunge. Lunge! Not plunge. Did you at least use the table plunger?" 

Mogey checked the handle. "Yep," he confirmed. "We remembered to label it this time. 'For kitchen use. Emergency exceptions only.'"

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 33

Mogey and Smush strode into the Second National Bank of Swine, a fine old building with marble columns and a nacho cheese fountain in the lobby.

"Y'know..." Mogey muttered under his breath. "If someone were to rob this place, they could make a mint." 

"A mint, you say?" Smush replied, raising his eyebrows. 

"A mint," Mogey confirmed. 

"I'll create a distraction," Smush said. "You take 'em for all they're worth!"

Twenty-one minutes later, the pals met in the alley behind the Second National Bank of Swine. Smush still held the pitcher that he'd filled to the brim at the nacho cheese fountain - and consumed - thrice in the intervening time, to the shock and adoration of every person in the bank. Mogey had in his possession a giant burlap sack with dollar signs on the side. 

"Let's see the take!" Smush said with an excited burp.

Mogey uncinched the bag to reveal a massive pile of cash and gold bars. Smush peeked inside, but his face fell.

"What's wrong?" Mogey asked. 

"It's just..." Smush began, "when you said mint, I thought..."

"You thought I meant something a little more like THIS?" Mogey exclaimed, grinning hugely as he whipped out a second burlap sack. He opened it and dumped out at least three gross of candy canes onto the pavement.

"I knew you'd come through!" Smush shouted. The pals eached grabbed a fistful of candy canes and jumped up and down with glee. The Second National Bank of Swine had fallen.