The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 29

"My, you're moving about industriously this morrow," Smush observed of his pal one impossibly ordinary morning.

"No time to waste!" Mogey agreed. "I've got to get going on my new year's resolution."

"It is quite literally July," Smush rejoined. 

"Precisely. My new year's resolution was to learn a martial art by 'late summer.' Now step aside, sir! Mistress Bunly Gumm of the Red Roof Dojo will be here any minute." 

At that moment, the door knocker knockered and Mogey rushed to the vestibule. When he peered outside, however, no one was there.

"Well that was peculiar," he said, returning to the kitchen. "I--"

"Ha HA!" interrupted a flop-eared, gi-clad, four-foot tall rabbit as she leapt down from atop the cupboard. "Lesson number one: always expect the bun-expected!"

Mogey was so startled he fell backward, but Smush did not so much as flinch. "Let me guess: Bunly Gumm?" he said.

"Mistress Bunly Gumm," said the rabbit with a bow. "Of the Red Roof Dojo." 

"Isn't that the karate center operating out of a motel over by the airport?" Smush asked.

"Indeed our sacred and most ancient dojo does take its name from the redness of our landlord's roof," said Bunly Gumm. "And indeed I'm required under contract to state that our landlord has additional rooms to let, steps away from the Eisenhower Terminal and starting at just $49.99 per night."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 28

Miner Inconvenience was the best place to get supper and a stiff drink in the hill town of Scrabblington (not to be confused with the scrabble town of Hillington). Just because an establishment is the best, however, doesn't mean it's any good. Such was the case with Miner Inconvenience. The food was so-so, the service was cantankerous, and the atmosphere could best be described as dusty. Furthermore, the restaurant was located high up in a tree, hence its name. But the only other option in town was called Billy Acres' Bellyachers and had but one item on its menu: "Billy Acres' World-Famous Lard Pie."

Mogey entered Miner Inconvenience one sweaty evening and joined Smush at the bar. The pals stood out from the crowd in that they were just as disheveled as the rest of the patrons, but their brand of filth was more along the lines of barbecue sauce stains than hard-won rock dust.

"Welp Smush," Mogey declared, "I really hit the mother lode today." A hush fell over Miner Inconvenience.

"Gold? Smush exclaimed. "Platinum?"

"Emeralds."

"Congratulations! Did you get 'em all?"

"Every last speck," said Mogey.

"Where were they?" Smush asked.

"You know how at the bottom of cherry italian ice, you'll sometimes find those ruby red morsels of crystalized syrup? I found something similar, but at the bottom of a lime italian ice!"

The faces on the patrons of Miner Inconvenience ranged from disappointment to downright fury. A number of hands drifted towards hatchets and machetes hanging from belt loops. But the pals remained oblivious to the other miners' enmity.

"You lucky dog!" Smush cried. "Your hard work eating so many gem-less italian ices really paid off this time."

"Yep," said Mogey, rubbing his belly with a satisfied smile, "twas a good day in the mines."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 27

"What are your plans for the summer, Mogey?" Smush queried as the pals sat upon their favorite park bench (the one right near the frost heave where you could see passersby trip in most spectacular fashion). 

"Two words," Mogey replied. "Island living."

"Great idea!" said Smush. "Tell me about the top candidates. Aruba? Jamaica?"

"Nope and nope."

"Bermuda?" 

"Certainly not."

"Bahama?"

"No," Mogey answered. "Also pretty sure that's not a singular noun."

"What about Key Largo?" Smush asked.

"Let me stop you right there, Smushy. I am most definitely not considering Kokomo as a summer destination." 

"Well then," Smush grumbled, looking rather put out, "what destinations are you considering?" 

"Bungle Point," Mogey replied. 

"Bungle Point? Out behind the dump??"

"Personally I see adjacency to the dump as a huge perk. And more importantly, Bungle Point is home to The Humble Bungle Jungle Buffet."

"You mean that old diner?"

"That's right, Mogey insisted. "Have you had the H.B.J.B.'s breakfast? It's insane!"

"I'm sure it is," Smush said slyly. "But I've got some bad news for you, Mogey. Bungle Point isn't an island. It's an isthmus."

"An isthmus, you say?" 

"According to the top cartographers in the business."

"Hmm," Mogey considered. "In that case I have two new words." 

"Isthmus living?"

"Isthmus. Living."

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 26

"Smush! Smush!" Mogey shouted, tugging at the shoulder of his pal's bathing costume. "Behold yonder grey beast struggling in the surf. Is he in need of our assistance?"

"Why are you talking like that, ya lobster pot?" Smush replied. 

"I'm a concerned citizen!" Mogey said.

"You are neither of those things," Smush disagreed. "And that's not just any grey beast out in the waves. It's Ryan O'Cyrus, the brine-o rhino!" 

"Brine-o?"

"That's correct. No rhino loves the salt spray more than he. Alright, Ryan?" Smush called to the pachyderm. 

It was at this moment that the largest wave of the day broke violently, sending O'Cyrus's massive bulk tumbling head over hoof. The rhino emerged spluttering, a striped bass skewered on his horn.

"I'm better than alright, mate!" Ryan O'Cyrus replied, popping the striped bass from his horn into his mouth and closing his eyes in ecstasy. "I'm blasted brilliant!"