There was a time when Mogey and Smush used to earn some extra dough by standing in police lineups. The pals loved it because they felt like they were doing their part to take a bite out of crime. The police loved it because the actual perpetrators would often give themselves up to the witness just to get away from the incessant and ominous tummy rumbling and lip smacking in the lineup. Also, they could pay Mogey and Smush in actual dough: The pals accepted both sour- and pizza- varieties and preferred it to cash.
The reason Mogey and Smush ceased participating in police line-ups was an incident that occurred one drizzly day. The witness, a bespectacled housekeeper with a tattoo of Hagar the Horrible below her left ear, passed by the first several members of the lineup quickly: A local ghoul who needed some extra cash, the station's parking attendant, who'd wandered into the lineup room accidentally, and a pool shark known as Teddy Chlorine. Finally she stopped in front of Smush.
"Him," the witness said, her pointed finger trembling.
"This is the man who stole your antique earthenware?" the officer inquired.
"No," said the witness, "he did something far worse than that. I've been searching for him more than a decade. He destroyed a collection far more valuable than some clay pots - he damaged my vintage pez dispensers!"
"Come now," said Smush, "so I ate some fruity candy. Did I really damage your pez dispensers?"
"Many of the poor dispensers had bites taken out of them! You bit the head off of my most valuable piece - the pink flamingo!"
"In my defense, I was on such a roll that I mistook the flamingo for a pink pez," Smush explained. "Surely you can't fault a very, very hungry someone from seeing some delicious pez in the window, sneaking in the backdoor, consuming said pez, and then accidentally eating up part of the dispenser along with it, can you?"
"You have the right to remain silent," the police officer began, advancing on Smush with a pair of handcuffs.
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