The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 24

"This heat is something else!" Mogey groaned, mopping his brow. 

"Sweltering," Smush agreed.

"Boiling." 

"Scorching."

"Like granddad's armchair after granddad fell asleep watching Turner Classic Movies on a summer afternoon?" suggested a diminutive top hat-clad man who - like Mogey and Smush - was dangling his feet in the stream. "And then grandad got up to refill his iced tea and you snuck into his seat?"

"Who're you?" Smush inquired.

"The name's Jim Simile," the little man said, sweeping the top hat from his head. "At your service." 

"And what might that service be?" Mogey asked.

"Let's just say," Jim Simile replied with a smirk, "that I'm as good at figurative language as granddad's armchair is at helping grandpa nap on a summer afternoon. You need an allegory? A metaphor? An analogy? I'm your guy."

"And if we need none of those things?" Smush inquired.

"Welp," Jim Simile said, "in that case, I'm about as useful as granddad's armchair during granddad's annual company retreat to Lake Hucklebuck. Good day to you, gentlemen." 

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 23

Mogey and Smush were members of a fraternal order known as The Most Marvelous and Scrumptious Brotherhood of Potatoes & Burlap, or the "Tater Bags" for short. The Tater Bags pursued some nominal charitable endeavors, but for the most part, it was an excuse for guys to hang around the lodge like a bunch of tater bags. 

"Say, is it getting a bit chilly in here?" Mogey asked the collective of gentlemen occupying the Tater Bags Rumpus Room on one such occasion. 

"I'll bet you the furnace is out again," Smush replied. "Go and check it, would you, Moge-man?"

"Why can't you do it?" Mogey asked. 

"Can't you see that I'm in the midst of an enthralling game of euchre with Gil, Phil, and Bill Millpill? The Millpill 'triple thrill,' if you will?" 

"Yes, yes, hello Millpills," Mogey grumbled. "Guess I'll go check the cellar. But I'm not happy about it!" 

He trudged down the basement stairs, and immediately confirmed that Smush was correct. Rather than shoveling coal into the fireplace as they paid him handsomely to do, Fern Gnass was lying on his cot in the corner, sound asleep, with a prodigious array of honey mustard pretzel crumbs scattered about his chin and chest.

"Fern, wake up!" Mogey attempted to rouse the caretaker, but aside from a loud snore, he did not stir. With renewed grumbling, Mogey took Fern's shovel and transferred several loads of coal into the fireplace, which was soon crackling merrily once more.

As he shoveled, Mogey wondered what to do about Fern Gnass. The caretaker did far more napping than shoveling, these days, but, Mogey concluded after a while, there wasn't much they could do about it. After all, Fern was the grandson of the social club's founder, Potato "Tater" Gnass, and in all honesty, his laziness was a credit to the Tater Bags' core ideology. 

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2026 Edition - Episode 22

The return trek from Mallow Marsh - where Mogey and Smush spent a mosquitoey week each year visiting their old acquaintance Toadly Bones - was a long one, and so the pals stopped into a roadside tavern for some refreshment.

"What'll it be?" queried the bored-looking waiter.

"Can you tell me about your beverage selection?" Mogey asked.

"We have mead, grog, and Mountain Dew Code Red." 

"Hmm," appraised Smush, "do any of them come in a jug?" 

"They are all available in any size vessel you can comprehend," said the waiter. "And I must say the barkeep pulls an excellent pint of Mountain Dew Code Red." 

"Might I sample it?" Mogey asked. 

"You know what it tastes like," the waiter replied, shaking his head. 

"You know what?" Mogey said. "You're right. You're darn right! Let's go with a jug of the grog, and a bucket of the Mountain Dew Code Red."

"I'll have the same," Smush added.