"Aaaaghhhh!" Mogey screamed as he scrambled up the cellar stairs.
"What is it this time?" Smush said, lowering his spectacles in the most dastardly manner possible.
"There's a monstrous monster in the basement! He's out to butter our ears and eat us with rye toast!"
"Calm down, lad, calm down. We'll go down to the cellar together and I'll show you there's no monster."
Mogey and Smush descended the creaky stairs together (Mogey much more tentatively than Smush). They rounded the stacks of salt pork barrels and walked past the rows of pickled goods of all kinds.
"There!" Mogey whispered sharply, pointing at the opposite wall. "See him?"
"My goodness, Mogey, you might actually be right this time!" Smush replied. The figure - a shadow in the candlelight - took up most of the wall. It was a four-legged beast whose cruel snout seemed to be sniffing the air to pick up their scents. A razor-sharp horn atop its head looked powerful enough to gore a full-grown blue whale. Mogey and Smush clutched each other in mortal terror.
Just as they were about to scream like little girls and run for cover, Mogey and Smush's prize pig Buttercup trotted out from the shadows, a party hat from her birthday celebration the night before still strapped to her head.
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