"I've got some bad news," Mogey said sorrowfully as returned from his biannual visit to Doc Bulbous, Hobbit Physician.
"Crouton stuck in a major artery?" Smush guessed.
"Not this time. It turns out I'm legally blind when my eyes are closed."
"Oh Mogey, I'm so sorry," Smush consoled. "I wonder... does this mean you're eligible for a service animal?"
"You mean like a seeing eye dog?"
"Sort of. I've heard it doesn't have to be a dog though. It could be all manner of creatures. A pig, for instance."
"Why in the world would I want a pig when I could get a--hnnnghhh!" Mogey gasped, clapping a hand to his mouth in horror. "You mean to eat my seeing eye pig, don't you?"
"Don't be absurd," said Smush, but his words were belied by the drool in the corner of his mouth and the bib around his neck that read You Are What You Eat, and I Eat Ham Hocks.
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