The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 6

"If you could climb like any creature," said Smush as he reached for the next branch, "what would it be?" 

Mogey tapped his chin thoughtfully, leaving behind an impressive lump of pine sap. It was unusual, these days, for the pals to be climbing The Needly Sheriff, the oldest spruce on the eastern seaboard. But in the month of May, spruce nuggets were in bloom. 

"I believe that's a trick question," Mogey replied.

"How could that be a trick question?" 

"Look at it this way: If I say 'a monkey,' I'm a banana-gobbling buffoon; if I say 'a goat,' I'm a baaing hoof tapper; and if I say what is clearly the correct answer, I'll be accused of overthinking it." 

"Notwithstanding the fact that all three of those things are already true, what is so clearly the correct answer?" Smush inquired.

Mogey heaved a massive, sprucy breath and was about to reply, when the long-suffering limb upon which he stood gave way. Mogey plummeted to the ground, hitting zero branches on the way down. He'd only been climbing for an hour, after all, and thus hadn't made it past the first limb. He landed flat on his back, which was good: Mogey's back was in a five-way tie for his fleshiest body part. 

"If you could climb like any creature," the mostly-inert Mogey called without opening his eyes, "you should climb like a sloth: Brandishing a big set of claws and stopping often for naps. I know it, you know it, and the sloths know it too."