Mogey and Smush were members of a fraternal order known as The Most Marvelous and Scrumptious Brotherhood of Potatoes & Burlap, or the "Tater Bags" for short. The Tater Bags pursued some nominal charitable endeavors, but for the most part, it was an excuse for guys to hang around the lodge like a bunch of tater bags.
"Say, is it getting a bit chilly in here?" Mogey asked the collective of gentlemen occupying the Tater Bags Rumpus Room on one such occasion.
"I'll bet you the furnace is out again," Smush replied. "Go and check it, would you, Moge-man?"
"Why can't you do it?" Mogey asked.
"Can't you see that I'm in the midst of an enthralling game of euchre with Gil, Phil, and Bill Millpill? The Millpill 'triple thrill,' if you will?"
"Yes, yes, hello Millpills," Mogey grumbled. "Guess I'll go check the cellar. But I'm not happy about it!"
He trudged down the basement stairs, and immediately confirmed that Smush was correct. Rather than shoveling coal into the fireplace as they paid him handsomely to do, Fern Gnass was lying on his cot in the corner, sound asleep, with a prodigious array of honey mustard pretzel crumbs scattered about his chin and chest.
"Fern, wake up!" Mogey attempted to rouse the caretaker, but aside from a loud snore, he did not stir. With renewed grumbling, Mogey took Fern's shovel and transferred several loads of coal into the fireplace, which was soon crackling merrily once more.
As he shoveled, Mogey wondered what to do about Fern Gnass. The caretaker did far more napping than shoveling, these days, but, Mogey concluded after a while, there wasn't much they could do about it. After all, Fern was the grandson of the social club's founder, Potato "Tater" Gnass, and in all honesty, his laziness was a credit to the Tater Bags' core ideology.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment