"Top of the morning to you, Mogey," Smush said as he slid down the spiral tube slide that led from his bedchamber to his and Mogey's secret food pantry in the cellar of the Dexter School for Troublemaking Lads. "What are your plans for this fine St. Patrick's Day?"
"Well," replied Mogey, delicately spearing a fried mackerel with his fork and biting its head off, "as you may or may not know, I have two St. Patrick's Day traditions."
"I did not know that," Smush said. This wasn't entirely true: he did, in fact, know that Mogey had two St. Patrick's Day "traditions," but he also knew that said "traditions" changed each and every year.
"Firstly, I save a snake's life," Mogey expounded. "St. Patrick, as you are probably aware, was quite fond of snakes. After I'm in possession of the rescued snake, I sneak into Miss March's Academy for Shrill Girls and set it loose in the coatroom. You've never seen such havoc in your life!"
"Did St. Patrick have it out for shrill girls," Smush asked, "or what?"
"No, no," Mogey said, still chuckling to himself, "the first tradition is for St. Patrick, the second one is solely for me."
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