The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: Quarantine Episode 29

"This is important, Smush," said Mogey, and for perhaps the first time in his entire life, he had used the word 'important' accurately. That's because the time had come to draft a letter to R. Bellamy Plink, magnet magnate. 

Plink's team of tenacious barristers had caught Mogey and Smush reselling unlicensed magnets and threatened legal action unless the pals issued a satisfactory apology. 

"We send a good letter, we'll be sitting at the Bonksburgh Little League Pancake Breakfast before you know it," Mogey continued. "But we send a bad one and we can kiss every metal object we own goodbye. And I mean every metal object."

Smush clutched at his beloved MC Hammer necklace and sat down heavily, his plate armour pants making a loud clank against the chair. "You're going to write this life-changing letter with that?" he asked finally.

"What's wrong with my pencil? I love a good Dixon Ticonderoga."

"An occasion of this import calls for something... grander," Smush replied, flourishing an elaborate fountain pen.

"You mean like this?" Mogey asked, pulling an antique quill from the depths of his writing desk and thrusting it into his pal's face.

It went on like this for several hours, culminating in Smush attempting to pluck a feather from the tail of their very-much-awake -at-the-time friend, neighbor, and alarm clock: Rooster "The Rooster" Standish. By the end of the week, the pals had lost their refrigerator, their backup refrigerator, and every one of their fondue pots to the magnet magnate, as well as most of Smush's right pinkie to Rooster "The Rooster," but they had darn sure gained some perspective. 

"Life isn't all about owning literally anything made out of metal," Smush later said, "life is about food. Specifically pizza. And I'd like to see a magnet magnate try to take that away."