As Smush entered the final chamber of Das Labyrinth, he encountered an ancient wizard, wrinkly, bent, and balancing a bowl of grapenut ice cream upon his knobbly staff.
"Congratulations," the wizard croaked, "you have completed the maze and thus earned eternal riches. More gold and jewels than you could ever spend. More sweetened condensed milk than the entire Baking Needs aisle at Publix. And more land than you can cover in a month's ride upon the fastest horse. All of these are now yours."
"Right on," Smush replied.
"But!" the wizard interrupted, his face splitting into a cruel grin. "What good will all these riches do you? For even those few who have found their way to the center of Das Labyrinth have never found their way out." He cackled like a bodybuilder whose jar of Muscleblaster 9000 Pure Animal Protein Powder had arrived two days early.
Now it was Smush's turn to smile.
"Ha!" he exclaimed. When the wizard didn't respond, he went on. "Ha, I say. Perhaps you did not overhear my 'Ha!' In which case... ha!"
The wizard stared at Smush, befuddled.
"Ha?" Smush tried once more. "Come now, you ancient coot. Surely our banter requires some give and take? No? Well I care not, for now I will reveal what makes me different from those other champions who made it this far: I marked my path! A string of cooked linguini, a half mile long and intricately knotted will guide me out of the maze."
Now the wizard looked like that same bodybuilder had opened his jar of Muscleblaster 9000 Pure Animal Protein Powder expecting to inhale its intoxicating aroma, only to discover that he'd bought a counterfeit jar of Body By Stinksap instead.
"Excuse me?" said Mogey, poking his head into Das Labyrinth's final chamber with a heartbreaking length of linguini hanging out of his mouth. "Sorry to interrupt, but does either of you know where I could find some pesto or a good carbonara?"
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