"Friends, neighbors, archnemeses," Mogey addressed the assembly, "I come before you today, not as a Mogey, but as someone even more awesome. A 'Super-Mogey,' if you will. And as a Super-Mogey, I feel there is a matter upon which I must impart some wisdom. Consider the poppyseed bagel: Why is it so adorned with the seeds of the poppy? One might say decoration is their purpose, but in truth they make the bagel appear to have a rampant case of tiny, gray measles. Taste, then? Nay, the poppyseeds have no taste, unless of course it is the bitter taste of shame upon extracting a seed from one's teeth several hours after bagel consumption. The seeds cannot be for gripping purposes either, as they fly off the bagel with an almost explosive vigor as soon as it is--"
Here Mogey's speech came to a grinding halt as a chorus of boos and jeers rained down upon him.
"Booo!" shouted one particularly incensed young man. "BOOO! This 'Super-Mogey' has been talking so long, and so pointlessly, that my hot shrimp got cold and my cold shrimp became room temperature. Get him off the stage! And someone bring me some more shrimp!"
"I told you," Smush muttered as he pulled his bewildered pal away from the crowd, "that it was not necessary, nor even slightly appropriate, for you to make a speech at this wedding just because they hired us to wash the dishes."
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