The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush Volume 535

On a cool, clear Summer's day, Mogey and Smush set out for Papa Jacques' Guns-n-Shrimp, a store they'd heard mentioned in many a tale of name brands at discount prices. As they traversed the unfamiliar path, Mogey noticed something odd hanging from one of the trees nearby.

"Is that an old-fashioned washboard?" he asked, walking over to inspect the contraption.

"Seems to be," Smush replied.

"I wonder what it's doing here in the woods," Mogey said, gently thumping it with the back of his hand.

As he turned to walk away, the washboard swung dramatically forward, bonking Mogey on the back of the head.

"Hey!" Mogey shouted, spinning around and pushing back at the offending piece of cleaning equipment. "Get off!"

As if on cue, multiple washboards dropped from every tree in the vicinity, and suddenly the woods were teeming with the dangling devices, which began to swing wildly.

"Run for it!" Smush yelled. And the pals did, ducking and weaving in an effort to avoid the onslaught. But it was impossible to dodge them all: more than once, Mogey and Smush found themselves bopped on the noggin, smacked across the shoulders, or slapped straight in the face by the malicious washboards.

Finally reaching the end of the wood, the pals tore across a meadow and - for some reason - leapt into a pond before realizing they had made it to safety.

"Well," Smush said, pulling pondweed out of his hair as he massaged a sore nose, "I guess that's why they call it Face-Smacking Washboard Tree Forest."