Thursday, February 8, 2024

The Abbreviated Adventures of Mogey & Smush: 2024 Edition - Episode 6

 In their younger days, Mogey and Smush moved to The Big City to seek their fortunes. It was a far cry from growing up on the same row of sod houses in the village of Burping Fens to becoming roommates in a ramshackle tenement run by Gretchen "Big Mama" Ponk.

"What do you think you're doing?" Smush inquired as Mogey began to set up a small army cot in their meager chambers.

"Getting ready to catch 40 winks, you old bean," Mogey replied.

"Surely you jest. I require the comfortable bed tonight."

"No no no," Mogey tsked. "Tonight is my night on the cot. I took the lazy susan last night, and - might I add - you saw fit to wake me at half past two in the morning!"

"I was hankering for some raisin bran!" said Smush. "You know how it is when you have a raisin bran hankering."

"You get a raisin bran hankering at least once per night! Yet every time I suggest finding another place to keep our bran-based cereals, you insist on returning them to the lazy susan."

"Be that as it may, you know I've got a job interview with the fishmonger's guild tomorrow. How can I seek my fortune without a good night's sleep?"

"You and your bran can get a good night's sleep in the lazy susan," Mogey insisted. "We've got bigger problems. Big Mama Ponk told me the building has... gulp... pipe serpents."

"Ugh!" said Smush. "No way. We would've seen them. Oy! Hissy. Hissy!"

A green-brown snake - the titular Gustav "Hissy" Fitz - poked his head out of the kitchen sink. 

"Yes, cap'n?" said Fitz.

"You haven't seen any serpents in your travels around the pipes, have you?"

"Uhhhhh," said Hissy Fitz, somewhat disbelievingly, "no?"

"There you have it," Smush stated. "Big Mama is just looking to tack more expenses onto our rent. Last month it was that absurd construction of 'fire escapes,' this month it'll be pipe serpent removal. Keep an eye out for any serpentine activity though, will you, Hissy?"

"Aye aye," said Hissy Fitz, delivering a perfect hand-to-head salute with his tail before vanishing down the drainpipe.


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