"Shhh," Mogey shushed Smush as they crept through the gloomy wood. On this moonless night, the forest lay darker than the skin of an avocado so ripe it would scarcely be suitable for guacamole. And yet, Mogey and Smush searched.
What could draw these (admittedly torpid) pals from their chambers on such an evening? There was a good reason. Rumor had it that the Nuisance Nine, the famous prankster group, was meeting in secret this very night in this very wood to plan their annual ruse. Mogey and Smush wanted desperately to find out what prank was coming so they could ensure that this year, for once, it would not involve them. Also Smush believed he had dropped half a zagnut bar during his afternoon constitutional.
A bluish-whitish glow amidst the trees ahead further increased the pals' caution, and after a few more moments' walking, they came upon a creature most peculiar. In a small clearing stood a unicorn, its pearly form emanating the radiance that had drawn them near. And yet it was translucent. Through its body, the friends could see - though palely - the shapes of trees that rose directly behind the mysterious animal. From this description you may be imagining a beautiful being, awe-inspiring in its ethereal presence. But nothing could be further from the truth: The unicorn was ugly as heck.
"Are you Malicious, the ghostly unicorn?" Mogey whispered.
"Nay," the horned horse whinnied. Mogey and Smush shrugged.
"Well, any idea where the Nuisance Nine are hiding out?" Smush queried.
"Nay," the unicorn repeated.
"D'you think you could give us a nod of the head or something if you know the answer to our questions?"
"Nay."
"Maybe he's just an odd-looking ordinary horse?" Mogey hypothesized.
"An O.L.O.H.?" Smush acknowledged. "Possibly. Are you a real unicorn?"
"FINALLY!" the unicorn exclaimed. He spoke with a powerful voice and an even more powerful lisp. "Yeth, I'm a unicorn! Duh. My name ith Pernicious, the unicorn ghost. Malicious, the ghostly unicorn, ith my archrival and longtime crush."
"But why did you keep nay-ing before?" Mogey inquired.
"It'th part of my curthe. If I'm asked yay-or-nay quethtions and the answer ith no, I can only rethpond with a 'nay.'"
"Curse?" Smush asked.
"Indeed," said the unicorn. "The sorcereth who thent me to the grave wathen't thatisfied with taking my life. She had to curthe me too!" He (somehow) heaved a hoof around Smush's shoulder conspiratorially. "To be honetht, I probably detherved it. Yep, when old Pernicious wath alive, he wath a bit of a withe guy."
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