Aside from Mogey and Smush themselves, there were really three people you needed to know aboard the R.M.S. Big Hoss. First was Captain Olive Mizzenmast, a stern man for whom sailing was literally in his blood (a cannon wound to his shoulder had once spilled several feet of canvas onto the foredeck). Second was Chip the Munk, a boatswain whose real name was Gregory, but who went by Chip to clarify to all that he was not the "friar" sort of monk. And last was Shish K. Bob, the ship's cook whose infectious laugh could be heard throughout the Big Hoss several times each hour.
Generally Mogey and Smush attempted to keep a low profile aboard the Big Hoss. One could not call them inept, but one could certainly not call them ept either. Such a stickler was Captain Olive Mizzenmast that they knew if they acquired any sort of reputation at all, they would eventually find themselves walking the plank. But one evening in the messdeck, Mogey simply could not help himself.
"Bob!" shouted the captain. "Have we any more stargazy pie?"
"What's the matter, Cap'n?" said Mogey. "Did you finish--"
"Consider your next words carefully, sailor," Mizzenmast interrupted. "Is it worth the risk?"
"...Olive it?" Mogey concluded.
Shish K. Bob immediately burst into his vastly contagious peals of laughter, slapping his meaty portuguese thighs hysterically. Mizzenmast knew he needed to do something or risk becoming a laughing stock among his men.
"That's it!" the Captain exclaimed. "Boatswain Munk: Ready the plank!"
But it was too late. Chip the Munk was already laughing so hard that the stargazy pie he'd stored in his furry cheeks came shooting out his nose. And Mogey? Mogey was borne abovedecks upon the shoulders of his compatriots: for that one night, a hero to all who sailed aboard the R.M.S. Big Hoss.
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