Whuff-whuff-whuff-whuff PHOOOOOOOOO! blared the steam engine of the Coldroast & Taterskeen Railway. As they settled into their seats, Mogey and Smush were nearly beside themselves with excitement. They'd never ridden aboard a trans-county railway before. While they looked forward to reaching their destination (a picturesque lake town called Cheddar-upon-Burger), a more immediate thrill had captured their imaginations: The snack trolley.
"Do you see it? Is it coming?" Mogey exclaimed.
"Not yet, but we've only just left the station," said Smush.
"Well keep your eyes open, man! We can't miss it!"
Fifteen of the most excruciating minutes of Mogey and Smush's lives passed before a harried but mysterious young man pushed a small metal cart into their car. In their anticipation, Mogey gnawed on Smush's upper arm twice, while Smush accidentally drooled upon the neighbor in the next seat. Luckily, their fellow passenger was a sentient plant named Drat Cactus who didn't mind in the least. At last the trolley reached their row.
"Ah yes," Mogey said politely, dislodging his teeth from Smush's elbow, "I suppose I'll have... a western bacon double cheeseburger, one cistern of rarebit, and a Hawaiian Punch Polar Blast."
"I'm sorry, sir," answered the trolley attendant, "but we've only got tea and muesli bars."
"Fair enough," Mogey rejoined. "A single cheeseburger will be fine."
"Um, it's... it's really just the tea and muesli."
"That harried but mysterious young man has it in for me," Mogey muttered, as the trolley stopped near the compartments at the far end of the train. He tore into his second of the sixteen muesli bars the pals had purchased.
"I think it was just a meager snack trolley," Smush crunched mueslily. "Not at all what we expected."
But Mogey wasn't listening. He stood from his seat and crept toward the compartments.
"Don't do it, Mogey," Smush called after him, "you'll ruin our vacation. There's just no way to fry hamburgers on a trolley that small."
"Ah ha!" Mogey shouted as he burst through the door of the compartment the trolley stood next to. The sight that met his eyes was the kind of betrayal only experienced by spiders and Chutes and Ladders players. The harried but mysterious young man held forth a silver platter loaded with western bacon double cheeseburgers, and the centerpiece? The coup de grace? A western bacon triple cheeseburger.
Mogey was about to lunge for the trolley attendant when Smush caught him from behind.
"No, Mogey," his pal intoned as he pulled a wad of cash and a cat o' nine tails from his back pocket. "You leave him to me."
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